Sometimes we expect so much of love even when we are surrounded by it we don’t see it. That’s because we want love on our terms.

My parents came from stoic Dutch stock. We were very well provided for but there was no hugging or kissing in our family and the words I love you were never spoken. I didn’t feel loved when I was young. There were four boys and four girls in our family and I often felt neglected.

My dad went to work every day and my mother stayed home until I was in high school. She kept the house clean and had dinner on the table every day at six. We all went to church every Sunday.

I grew up in the fifties long before Barbie came on the scene. I had Madame Alexander dolls. I had one adult doll that came in a brides dress and one little girl doll. My mother made me dozens of doll clothes for them. She built me a dollhouse for them and supplied it with all the furniture. I still have that dollhouse in my attic and intend to refurbish it for my granddaughter next year.

One year I asked for a walking doll for my birthday. There was no such thing at that time but she bought me a Terry Lee doll with a walker I could put her on and push. She also sewed a complete set of clothes for her.

For each of us on our birthdays she would cook what ever we asked for. One year I asked for cream puffs instead of a cake and she said it was too much work and I cried and she made them for me anyway.

My mother sewed most of my clothes until I was a teenager and I wouldn’t let her anymore. When I was in kindergarten she sewed me matching panties along with my dresses. I refused to wear the panties because if I were hanging on the bars the boys would see that my pants matched my dresses and would make fun of me. When I was twelve she made me a beautiful bathing suit. It was a two-piece reversible denim and madras. I refused to wear that too because even though I was flat chested it did not have a bra in it.

Looking back on my childhood realizing how busy my mother must have been with eight kids she still took the time to sew doll clothes for me I now realize that even though there were no hugs of kisses in our home there was plenty of love. The love was shown in stitches not kisses and deeds not words.

The Eclectic Pen » All Stories by IONE L. (zaneygraylady)

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Comments 1 to 5 of 5

Lynn B. (seraphina) - 5/9/2007 11:35 AM ET

thank you for this one , it is a very touching and enlighting piece of writing. Every teen should read this, love comes to all of us in different ways. Well done.

JOYCE W. (luvthemgoats) - 5/9/2007 12:29 PM ET

you have such a way with words. i hope my son thinks of me this way someday although i do tell him i love him often, though i dont think he belives me most of the time.

Marta J. (booksnob) - 5/9/2007 1:59 PM ET

I love the last line in this sweet story. How nice that you are able to look back now and know that you were, indeed, loved as a child.

Tina H. (EclecticHSmom) - 5/12/2007 5:46 PM ET

I so totally agree with you that when we are young we want love on our terms. I'm 35 and just recently figured out how much my mother loves me, after seeing her sacrifice to care for me and my family when I was very ill for a month recently. Like yours, my mother was not demonstrative verbally or physically, but in deeds. I like how you said that at the very end. I only hope my children will see how much I love them someday. Thanks for sharing this!

Sandra (mycatscanread) - - 5/12/2007 7:23 PM ET

I really love that last paragraph. I think you speak for a lot of us. Eight children yet she sewed doll clothes makes me think she loved you very much indeed.

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The Eclectic Pen - Mother's Love

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