He holds degrees in divinity and fine arts. He is well known as a feminist activist and author. He has written a series of books and articles criticizing traditional concepts of manhood or maleness, such as "Refusing to Be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice" (Meridian, 1990), "Why I Stopped Trying to be a Real Man," [1] and "The End of Manhood: A Book for Men of Conscience" (Dutton, 1993).

He created "the Pose Workshop," which entailed men adopting the poses that women strike in pornographic shots (intended partly for men attending Christian retreats), a version of which was broadcast on BBC television. He was Andrea Dworkin's life partner for thirty-one years. They began living together in 1974; in 1998 they married. He is a founder of the group 'Men Can Stop Rape' [2] and developed the group's 'My Strength' [3] campaign which aims to educate young men on sexual relationships, consent and rape. He also creative-directs the group's 'My Duty' [4] sexual-assault-prevention media campaign, which is licensed to the Department of Defense, Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office. [5]

Stoltenberg is credited with the quote "Pornography tells lies about women. But pornography tells the truth about men." The quote is from the essay The Forbidden Language of Sex in his book "Refusing to Be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice" (Meridian, 1990).

• Refusing to be a Man (orig. 1989) ISBN 1-84142-041-7
• The End of Manhood: A Book for Men of Conscience (1993) ISBN 0-525-93630-0
• What Makes Pornography "Sexy"? (1994) ISBN 1-57131-201-3
• The End of Manhood: Parables on Sex and Selfhood (1999) ISBN 1-85728-325-2

Reviews

• Sex, porn and conscience