I bought this book to help me understand a couple of commitphobes I'd been involved with, and was startled to start recognizing myself as a passive commitphobe! Seriously, I was almost having panic attacks--the book was hitting so many "buttons" inside me! The insights of the authors (based on hundreds of interviews) were helpful, especially the last section of the book, which reads like compassionate advice from a worried grandparent.
Did your significant other get up and just walk out on you one day? Did they provoke you into ending the relationship due to their terrible behavior? Did they contruct enormous emotional or physical boundaries that caused the relationship to die out? If you answered yes to any of these questions it is very likely that you were in a relationship with a commitmentphobe and it is time that you read this book! This book has helped me through two very significant commitmentphobic relationships in my life. As a passive partner I had no idea what was happening to me. This book helped me to realize that the issues were not mine and that I can avoid the pain of a commitmentphobic relationship in the future.
The first section of the book discusses many real life relationship scenarios that you may recognize in your own life. Section two is all about recovering from a commitmentphobe relationship, no matter what side of the coin you are on. My poor copy is highlighted, flagged, worn out and still doing wonderful things for me after 8 years. This is the best self help relationship book I have read.