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Book Review of Riding the Bus with My Sister : A True Life Journey

Riding the Bus with My Sister : A True Life Journey
iritnus avatar reviewed on + 37 more book reviews
Helpful Score: 1


We who grow up with family members with mental retardation have a blindspot like Rachel Simon. We think we "know" what MR is -- we live with it every day! But as Rachel discovers at the end of her journey, MR is a catchall term for the many things that can go wrong in a person's brain and development. And each person who is diagnosed with MR is still an individual with different abilities -- some skills stronger than others -- despite the label that lumps them altogether.

I regret not reading this book before my uncle died because it would've spurred me to learn more about who he really was, which I thought I knew because I lived in the same house with him for 20 years. I regret that my family treated him like he stopped aging at the "mental age" he was -- which I'm not really even sure what that was. They treated him like a child when many times he behaved like an adult and, I believe, wanted to be treated like an adult but they kept him labeled as and treated like a child because that's how they identified with administering his care. He could've worked at a sheltered workshop if my grandparents had allowed him and he could've had friends outside our family. He was my first playmate and first friend.

I am more upset writing this review, thinking about my own situation, than reading the book. "Riding the Bus With My Sister" is more than a look at how society treats people with MR and physical disabilities -- people who are "other". That's in there and that's what makes this book important but it's not just a case study and certainly not a sermon. The author confronts her broken family and how her parents' failed relationship affects her romantic relationships. She says what every family member of someone with MR thinks sometimes but dares not say: the frustration and embarrassment and spite and meanness and occasional wish that our relatives were "normal" that wars with our intense love for them.