Justina C. (stinasstoryspot) - 11/19/2008 6:28 PM ET

Hehehe... This is funny :D

Carly C. (ccwriter) - 11/20/2008 10:12 AM ET

Marla Maye, I love the way your mind works!

Danielle W. - 11/20/2008 5:18 PM ET

oh. wow.

Joyce M. (j3m) - 11/20/2008 6:05 PM ET

very funny; it's like a Saturday Night Live skit

Marla Maye L. (WalnutStreetBooks) - 11/20/2008 10:28 PM ET

The author says: I have the most trouble ending my pieces. This started out as a comment to another persons's post, on Club Member's Thoughts. I tweaked it a bit, when I bought it here. I put the ending on here. I don't know how I could have ended it better. Anytime anyone wants to make a constructive comment on how I could improve any of my writings, I would be happy to hear that.

xengab - 11/21/2008 1:05 PM ET

"Big fight, bagels get thrown, mocha latte all over the floor." Rather then mocha latte all over the floor, try mocha latter splattered or splashed all over the floor, since this is an aggressive line of a big fight. "What is to prevent you from accidentally leaving some change on the counter?" Prevent you change to prevent me from.. since the rest of the story is about a character. "Police come, it makes the local papers and then the national news." Police come, it makes the local papers, now I'm in the national news, would flow with the story better. Note to self do not mess with Marla Maye and tipping coffee store workers..LOL Great take on a such a recent topic.

Marla Maye L. (WalnutStreetBooks) - 11/21/2008 4:12 PM ET

Pam, Thanks for you advice. I will look at retyping this to see if I like it the way you suggest.

Lenore M. (bookstacks) - 12/16/2008 7:09 PM ET

If you're not sure of an ending, just keep rewriting it. But you'll need to find some way to save drafts if this is where most of yorr writing gets done. Sooner or later you'll find one that really feels like it fits